Before having a baby, my imagination on motherhood is motherhood is hard and crazy. I expected it will be not that easy.
When I’m on it, yes it is, it not an easy journey. The moment after deliver our baby, the situation is so different. I no longer thoughts of just me but I had one tiny human that depends on me. I thought I will able to handle all situations on my own but the real motherhood is incredible, raw, messy, chaotic and beautiful.
Navigate this new life with your partner
This can be incredibly hard. You needed each other more than before. I can say, my motherhood journey is quite smooth because I had my husband with me everyday since day one and we hired babysitter after our baby just two months. I think this is our smart move but I can say, this is God mercy. HE know that we really need someone that expert on baby so we will stay sane. For the baby related matter, I got my extra hands, just my inside that really need help my husband. My inside matter is really hard to do on my own.
Remember to take care of yourself
I’ve been sharing about self care on my previous posts as I realised this is very important when you enter motherhood stage. Motherhood is exhausting. It is a lot harder than I thought it would be. Its hard to make time to take care of yourself but hey moms, you need to because you can’t pour from an empty cup! You are just as important as those babies and every mother is still her own person! Underneath all of the laundry, dishes and lists, you’re you and you need to maintain that individuality in order to feel fulfilled. So, go take a break, mom! It’s okay.
Don’t worry too much
Its easy to say this but I learn to not to worry too much about my baby.
I always worried about my baby dying in their sleep, worried when he don’t want to eat, worried when he cried too much because he “masuk angin” and many more worries. My son just 8 months baby and I already worry too much. I can’t imagine if he become toddler, go to elementary school and high school and ….
I learned to do not worry too much because worry steals our joy and allows satan to gain a foothold in our thoughts. I struggled with Major Depression Disorder(MDD) and it stole my joy. When I focused on the bad things that could happen, I hardly noticed the good things right in front of me. I learned to always read and remember, Matthew 6:34 ( Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.)
Motherhood is a journey, a hard but joy filled journey in which your life isn’t your own anymore. It’s about choosing joy even with the mess and the lack of free time. I learned to choosing joy one day at a time, feeling stress is a choice, feeling joy and gratitude are choices too! Choose well.
Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.Henri Nouwen
Have a friend who genuinely hears
Its rare and important to have a friend who genuinely hears and it give big impact when there someone really listen. Its life altering because when one feels heard, one also feels deeply known and loved and that opens up a whole new world. Listening to hear should begin in our home and never end. Listening without always having an answer, trying to control or defend.
Remember this will be the best season in your life
I believe in life has its own season. There single season, engaged season, married season and now, parenthood or motherhood season. Each season is not last forever. So, same goes to motherhood. I read somewhere, you will missed this season when your child growing up. My mom also told me this. She said, she missed to see all of us ( six of us) in the house, its messy, chaotic and headache but she can see and hear us. Now, everyone already growing up, having their own life, she really missed that moment. So, while we are on it, enjoy it as much as possible. Its hard to enjoy something that you struggle with but it will be worth it!
Consistently taking photos and videos of your child
When I looked back our first son photos, I will always feel “terharu”, I still can’t believe I delivered this little tiny human into this world. He is my “amanah” /gift from God that I’ve never take for granted. I think I took his photos almost everyday. He quiet annoying sometimes but I don’t care! hehe as long as I can keep the memories. I try to FREEZE the moment. Don’t feel lazy to take photos or videos ya.
Motherhood is one of the best journey so far. When my son smile and laughed, I feel like “dunia ni ana yang punya”, I love his smile so much. I always try to capture it as many as i can so I can print it soon and frame it. I able to enjoyed my motherhood because I had my strong support system, my husband and our babysitter, Wiwie. I just don’t know how to really enjoy it without them. Remember mom, don’t do the motherhood journey alone, please involved your husband too. Its not worth it to go alone.
Aya, Mrs Maclare and Karl’s mum ❤