I still remember the moment we bring our little bundle of joy home, such a precious moment. He just four days that time and our car ride from hospital to our home is a very wonderful journey, I never forget that moment. Having a newborn is one of the most special time for you and your husband. There’s nothing like bringing home that bundle of joy and settling into your new life together. With all of the wonderful changes during this time, there are also challenges in developing a new routine, including finding meaningful ways to stay emotionally connected to your husband.
Your body is healing from birth and you have a new little person to take care of. You’re nursing, pumping or feeding constantly or thinking about next feeding and sleep is hard to come by for both of you and your husband. With pregnancy, birth and doctor’s orders to wait until 100 days after delivery, sex may be a distant memory especially given how busy and tired you are.
Add to all of that the new roles you both have as parents. It’s transition worth celebrating but you’re probably experiencing a flood of emotions while you learn to find yourselves amid your new identities.
It’s okay to acknowledge all the ways your life has changed and all the things you’re through. Looking at your situation honestly is the first step to making sure you are both thriving and staying connected. You need to support each other and also be a solid foundation for your new baby.
Here are some tips on how to connect with your partner after having a baby.
- Share responsibilities
Sharing the responsibilities will help each of you experience what the other is taking on and you’ll both appreciate each other more. You’re a team, so try not to keep score of who’s doing what, you’ll bond by conquering your responsibilities together. When my husband home, he will in charge of bath time and put our baby to sleep. As for me, I will in charge on after bath and feeding our baby. Between that, like making milk, change diapers and playtime, we do it together.
- Listen and be patient with each other
After having a bay especially during the newborn day, I think that our busiest time as a new parent. But, it’s even more important to take time regularly to talk about how you’re both feeling. How are you handling the transition to parenthood? What areas do you feel good about? what are you struggling with? Usually we will do this before we sleep or if its not “terkeluar dengan kata-kata”, I will WhatsApp my husband and just voice out there, then when he come back, I will share the details and calm heart.
Voice out your feelings helps you better understand the other person and what might be going on below the surface. It’s also a great way to figure out how to troubleshoot and help one another. If you’re overwhelmed because you’re up every night nursing the baby, maybe your partner can help to rotate too. Let’s be honest, apologize when you need to, these days with your new baby are precious but they are hard too.
Have each other’s back and give each other grace.
- Let others help you
For me, this is most important, in order to why to make a way to connect with our husband, you need to help others help you.
As for us, we had our own babysitter for our baby. She helping us to take care of our baby and help on “suka duka” being a parent. We both still learning more and more for a baby.
Remember to ask help to take care of your baby to create more space for you and your husband to maintain your relationship, which will allow you to be better parents for your baby.
- It’s just a season
You may need to get a little creative to enjoy quality time with your husband in this busy stage but remember this season won’t be last forever. Enjoy these moments, keep it all in perspective and laugh!
You might only see challenges and roadblocks, but this time can help you and your husband become more connected than ever before. There’s something pretty amazing about seeing your husband with your baby and feeling how much love you have for them both.
You’re all doing a great job!