Hello my dear readers! I hope you doing well.
I finally had courage to share about this experience. This post has been on my draft for 4 months already since December 2020. I keep it on my draft because I just feel it’s not the right time to share about it. I’m afraid of people judgement on me and I feel that, there’s no lesson that my readers can learn if I share it as soon as I quit my job during this pandemic. So, I wait until I back to work again and when that’s the time, I will share this experience.
Now, I am back to work, it’s the right time to share what I learned from quit my job in the midst of the pandemic. Without further due, let’s read my story. It’s very long so I hope you read until the end.
Firstly, you maybe curious why I quit my job, right? So, I will share about that first so you can continue to read what I learned.
Why did I quit?
Late last year, I left my job of 9 years 4 months, a job that gave me security, the place that I’m having “fun” with colleagues that I love and enjoy the good salary despite the constant struggle here and there. I’ve been spent my 9 years 4 months at the same company, its my first job after all and to be honest, its a very hard decision to leave. Its my comfort zone and currently its pandemic so its will be hard to find another job.
But, I had been feeling drained and discouraged for the past few recent years while doing this job. As a career woman, I had my own goal and expectations for my career journey. It’s my fault because I always choose my comfort zone so that why I stayed for 9 years 4 months. I often prayed to God for strength to get through the challenging days but there’s still a lot of aspects that really dragged my spirits down. It getting worse, after I back to work after my maternity leave. I’m too overwhelmed with my life change , being a new mom, being a first time working mom and the new tasks that have high expectation from me, all these need my full attention at the same time, that make me feel overwhelmed and I can say I can’t handle it well, I did my best but I guess, I had reached my limit. I tried to ‘bertahan’ because I know its hard to find a new job during this pandemic but end of 2020, I can’t anymore! I told my husband, I really need a new job, new environment, everything new ( expect new husband…haha) because I feel if I’m staying for another year, its not good for my career journey and I feel everyday is hard, everyday is stressful day, I can say, I am no longer enjoying doing my work, I feel I didn’t learn something new that help my career growth in future.
So, I make a decision to leave on 23/December 2020, I tender my resignation letter and due to my manager unavailability so it cant be sign on the spot. By 28 December 2020, after had small talk with my immediate manager, without hesitant she signed my resignation letter. She know it’s time for me to go. I feel so sad to let go but I don’t feel I can’t go another year anymore and most importantly, I don’t love my job anymore. I read somewhere “When you do something you don’t love , it become stress. If you love something you do, it called passion.”
At the same time, on early of February 2021, I was diagnosed MDD ( Major Depression Disorder) that mainly stress from my job. I know that every job has their stress but and I don’t want to feel stress with the same thing anymore. After I quit, I didn’t get any job but that’s fine because I can take a break and recover from my MDD too.
Wow..such a long story! In short, I quit because I want to have a different experience, doing something new and take a break from work.
So, what did I learned from quit my job during the pandemic?
- How to facing an unknown future
After I quitting, the first week feel so awkward because I used to working for 9 years, almost 10 years. My Monday used to be hectic, day by day is stressful. Anyhow, I feel so happy about my new life. But, this feeling is not stay for long. After just 2 weeks, I started to feel uneasy already but I get myself busy with houseworks and my baby. Without I even realised, I had been on break for one months. Time move so fast! During my break, I sent countless resume to many company and attended several interviews but I didn’t get any offers. I feel so hopeless and everything is seems to be unknown. To be honest, I started to feel uneasy because my saving is seems not enough to cover and I don’t want to burden my husband for long time.
Whenever I feel so hopeless, I read my Bible plan consistently because for me, God’s words will help me to face this uncertain future. At the same time, I don’t want to feeling hopeless by doing writing on my blog, apply for a new job, learning online for my future job. At the same time, I spent my time to take care of my son, I had an extra time to have a play time with him now.
- It’s okay to doubt yourself during this time, that’s normal
I sent countless resume, attend several interviews ( video call and voice call) and wait to hear from potential employers, I filled with hope one moment and then disappointment the next. As the cycle continues, I begin to doubt my skills and abilities. The question ” Am I not good enough?”. Sometimes I get so disappointed whenever I didn’t get offer for the job that I really like. I feel like the process never end and I feel so tired. But, I have learned that, this is totally normal when you looking for a job. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re doing good, just your skills is not meet their requirement and it’s not God’s time yet. Be patient and take it easy.
- Trust God’s timing and plan
The period of job seeking during the pandemic will be an exciting journey of deepening faith but it will also be an emotional coaster ride. Some days, I feel full of faith and hope, some days, I filled with doubt and despair. I worried that our savings might be depleted or won’t have enough to tide through before I find a job. Its hardest to trust God’s timing and plan when everything seems went wrong. I sent countless resumes and attend several interviews, got rejected and at the same time, the bills is coming…. I also question God about this. But, God is better planner.
- Marriage is all about understand and support each other
When I told my husband I want to quit my job before Christmas 2020, actually my husband a bit hesitate because I didn’t get any offer yet and our financial situation too. But, after I shared with him my backup plan (financially and my career), he agreed. I’m glad he trust me. Since my notice is 2 months so my last month as working will be 19 Feb 2021. So, during this 2 months notice, I sent my resume and attend several interviews but no offer yet. As my last day approaching, I getting worried because I worried I will be burdened my husband during my break. Typical wife, I did asked my husband about this and he said no and he said that his responsibility ( awww… so sweet) but at the same time, he worked so hard during this timing to cover our expenses as I will use my saving for other monthly expenses. During my break, I sent my resume and attend interview for 3 months ( since January 2021- March 2021) but still no offer. I’m getting so worried and whenever this happen, I always shared with my husband what I feel and we prayed together for this.
During this time, my husband is understanding and supportive, whatever I can’t cover, he cover it for me. I really appreciate it.
- Job seeking is hard but it will be worth it.
I never really do job seeking before. My last job is my first job that I got during walk in interview. After that, I never really do job seeking, I did and went for few interviews but never got it and I know why I didn’t get it because I don’t really do my best that time.
During this pandemic, all interview via online, thanks God! I no need to do pre travel to check the interview location one day before. All I need to do is just prepare myself, prepare my room environment and thats it! That’s one of the best thing finding a job during this pandemic.
Finding a job is never easy, whether offline or online but one thing I learn from this process is NEVER GIVE UP! Apply as many as you want( but read the description very well before you apply), attend an interview and if you get it, thanks God and if you didn’t get it, its okay. I know the feeling when you didn’t get the job and at the same time, you saving/financial is getting lesser. I truly understand that. The feeling to get a job is really urgent because of the financial issues and as for me, its financial and I don’t want to had bigger gap employment gap.
One thing I can say during job seeking is God know the best and the right timing for you. What you can do is do your best during the interview and surrender everything to God, always pray. Don’t give up! If you didn’t get the job, thats not the best and the best will come soon, don’t give up! I know during this time, you will feel worry about many things so whenever I feel worry, I will go to my room and pray.
At the end of my job seeking journey, I gained two things which are get the right job and my relationship with God is improve/my faith strengthen.
If you’re feel drained and want to quit your job during this pandemic, here is my advise to you,
Do what the best for you and don’t worry about your future and don’t worry about what wrong thing will happen but always think what the right thing can happen if you quit.
Most importantly, Stay close to God and His word, He will lead you through. At the end of the journey, you will not only find a job but also a deeper intimacy with God. Trust Him!