Hello there! Welcome to my blog! How are you? I hope you doing well.
Today, I wanted to share my experience on being working mom for the first time. Every mom has this experience but the different is how you go through your first time. Before I gave birth to our baby, one of my colleagues shared her experience on being a working mom and she said, its hard but need to be strong. I always remember what she said and I told myself, I need to be strong when I become a working mom but I guess its different when I’m in the real situation. So, here is my experience. Enjoy reading and I hope you can learn something from my experience.
I gave birth to our baby on 1/July/2020 and I got maternity leave for 2 months which was 1/July/2020 to 1/September/2020. I am grateful I get that 2 months maternity leave but I feel that 2 months is not enough, I won’t talk about this on this post but I will share my thoughts on why mom need more than 2 months maternity leave on different post. For now, I want to share my experience on being working mom for the first time.
First day as working mom
I’m back to work on 1/September/2020, just like on schedule, I feel I’m good and healthy so I am back to work. I’m back with high spirit feeling because I got new tasks and new team. So, I am really excited to be back to work again. But, this time my schedule a bit different as I need to go pumping milk during morning break time and tea time, no more just morning break or tea break. The first day really feel so different, I missed my son a lot but still can “tahan” because I’m busy to catch up with my tasks.
First week as working mom
During the first week, I didn’t feel so stress because I’m busy to catch up with everything and I also catch up with my new routine too. I am still at catch up phase during this time and still feel so excited with my new tasks and new routine.
First month as working mom
After first month, the catch up phase already passed and my workload was getting heavy. But, I always tried my best to do my work. I tried do it just like before I become a mom. But, when the workload was so heavy, I tend to still to think of work even when I’m back home and sometimes I can’t sleep well because thinking of work. I don’t really manage my life well during this time. I was too busy to take care of my work, my baby, my husband, my home and not really myself. During this time, I started to feel the burnout effect already but I thought this is normal and just ignore it! I prolonged the symptom I feel and see for the sake of comfort and in denial too. I did told my husband about it but he also said, I am overthinking so I guess that time, he is right. But, I forgot the important thing here, I forgot to seek God for an answer, I forgot to pray and ask God what really happening, I just busy with my life.
Two months and onward as working mom
I am really try my best to do best in everything in my life.
I tried being a good employee by doing my best in my job even though I feel so stress about it but I always remind myself, its work so if its not stress then its not work. I’m working from 9.30am – 7pm and during the break I will go pumping and after 7pm, I will go back but sometimes its traffic jammed so I will reach home around 8pm. After 8pm, I usually cooking for the family and fetch my husband from work at 9.30pm~ and after that we ate our dinner. Sometimes we ate together sometimes we ate separately, it’s depends. After that, I will spend time my time with my baby that usually sleep at 10~ 11pm, this is depends. During this time, I still can’t get off my mind from work, its still on my mind and I hate it because I just can’t feel peaceful with my son. I just don’t know why I can’t separate my thoughts about work. Sometimes I can’t sleep at night thinking of work, the dateline, what to do tomorrow, how to report this and that. I’m feel weird why I am like this.
After trying my best to cope of being working mom for 4 months ( September to December), at the end of December I finally quit from my job to take a break. I still continue to work on January to February 2020 because my notice was two months. During that two months, I guess my workload will be slowly getting lighter but its not, its the hardest! Its getting worse until I was diagnosed with Major Depression Disorder ( MDD). Due to this, I push myself to remove myself from the heavy workload, thanks to my ex boss and colleagues for helping me to remove myself so I can recover from my MDD. Its hard to recover but I try my best because I don’t want to live with it.
Now, I am back to work after take a break for 2 months, I’ve learned so many lesson from my first time experience. I learned to take it easy and don’t push myself so hard. Maybe you thinking, why did I want to back to work and be working mom again? I had many reasons for that. Mainly, I want to contribute to provide for my son’s and family needs and I want to work for my dream and future life too. I still had the skills and know how so I want to use it and at the same time, I want to feel good about myself too. For now, I don’t feel I want to be housewife because I still have dreams that I want to fulfil.
After being consider “failed” being working mom for the first time but I don’t want to give up! I want to do my best being working mom for second time. I hope I will do better this time and never ever give up again!
I hope you learn something from my experience today.
If you’re working mom, please do share your experience on being working mom with me. How do you feel?